One of the big issues that brings people into psychotherapy is emotional pain. The emotional pain caused by the ending of a relationship is particularly common.
Here are four steps that will help you to heal from emotional pain.
1. Acceptance: You often resist what “is” especially when you are in pain. Letting go of the “if onlies” (if only he/she would call me, change, give me another chance and so on) will help you get unstuck from a merry go round of pain. Letting go of what you wish would happen and accepting what is happening is the first step. Recognize that you do not have control.
2. Feel your feelings and express them in ways that feel safe. Talk with friends, a therapist, your rabbi, priest or spiritual advisor, or get a journal write your feelings down. Expressing your feelings and thoughts will help you organize and understand what you are experiencing. This will bring you release and relief.
3. Be: Once you do the first steps you will begin to feel better. Breathe, relax and nurture yourself. Have compassion for yourself and provide experiences that are comforting and nurturing. (Take a nap, exercise; take a bath, lunch with a friend and so on).
4. Take action: Now it is time to literally move on. Take a bike ride, go for a walk, join a class, or start hobby. Get involved in your life.
When you are experiencing emotional distress you often relive trauma from the past, or feel that you will be overwhelmed by the emotions in the present.
Instead you can understand this experience provides a tremendous opportunity for healing. Follow these steps and you can move through the pain with a new perspective and a better attitude.
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*as seen on examiner.com